Spring 2023 Power Rankings

9. Green Street Hooligans

Yehuda has talked exclusively about his scoring campaign. Yehuda, you are aware there is a team to lead correct?? This reminds me of when LeBron said he would vote for himself for MVP. I think it’s hilarious and I will watch every Green game, you just won’t be able to see me.



8. Shooting Blancs

Simon, help me understand what is happening here? Where is McCauley? This team promised another spectacular go at the title after last year’s marvelous run. The only run I see this team making is to Duane Reade for beer after being eliminated in the play-ins. How do you say “maybe
next year” in French??



7. The Narwhals

WTF is going on with this team? Luckiest team in the league. Not sustainable. Jack claims to be a genius but, I say go buy a lottery ticket.



6. Chili Peppers

This team is planning to play all their games in something like a 5-day span when Sam is finally in town. When rain inevitably moves the playoff schedule around, and Sam is out, I cannot wait to see what Nate tries to pull to get his first-round pick back into town. Everyone, block Nate on Venmo now before he starts sending our requests trying to fund a plane ticket for Sam.



5. I Just Blue Myself

How Miles, Cherie, Hillary and Frey ended up on the same team with Phelps in net is beyond me. Who allowed this? This draft must have been rigged. If there is another stabbing on the upper east and a beautiful Italian man is the victim, remember me blowing the whistle on this whole operation! I must listen to my heart and say, this is a too good to be true type scenario. Phelps is far too much of a wildcard in my book after injuring himself last year and feeling the need to clarify it was not in a sex related act, as if this was top of mind for those trying to speculate the cause
of injury.

broken image
broken image

Prediction: Frey cries after they are upset by Pink in the playoffs.



4. Julie’s Football Club

This team confuses me. They have had a good start to the year but, Amit claims he will have good attendance this season, unusual. Also, Tash all of a sudden seems to have decided she will make a run for the ladies' scoring title. Zisser is on the team as well, he could be arrested at any time. Lots of very exciting items here, I have no idea what to make of all of this.



3. Hungry Hippos 2.0

Hicks has a vendetta against his longtime rival, A Championship Of Any Kind. This team is fueled by pure emotion and I think the combination of tears and preworkout takes this stacked team far
before ultimately losing in the championship as is tradition.



2. MelRose Place

This team is well built. They dropped an unlucky one early in the year but, were also missing Wes. Unless Wes is kneecapped, I do not see this team losing very often.



1. Medium Rare (If Jeff Oberg is Traded!!)

This team has essentially played shorthanded the entire year and dropped a couple one goal games. If Jeff Oberg decides to hangout literally anywhere except the box, this team has two wins. Give this team time to heat up and my prediction will begin to properly unfold.


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